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“I don’t use my blood at all, because I’m amazing.”
“Skiddly bop bop, skiddly doo doo. Skiddly dooooooooooooo fuck you.”
Me: “Some beach”
SGT Workman:“somewhere.”
“Nelson, do I have to dragon kick you in the chest?”
“We’ll see how picky you are when I stab you in the back. Think about that… for TWO seconds.”
“I punched a horse in the face for looking at me wrong.”
“Nelson, give me your phone NOW!”
“I hope your phone has a lot of minutes on it.”
“Next time I come in here and there is no one in this office, I’m taking all that stuff off his uniform. Tell him that.” this one is actually from SGT Sahlstrom talking about SGT Workman.
“I’m ERDing your entire family. Say bye-bye. Hope she’s faithful.” (If SGT Workman was a commander, this is what he'd say to 2LTs)
“Holler-lujah?”
"Who are you? Fucking Peter Pan?"
"Man, I hope that annoying-looking mother fucker isn't SSG Williams." (Talking about when I was picked up at the airport)
"I don't wanna stay here until 1700, just because he has no life... I'm gonna tell him that."
"SGT Courtney, you left SGT Moretz alone over there? He's gonna burn the building."
"I'm going to give you the unlawful order to babysit my kids."
"Oh my God, that's amazing." (he says like everyday)
SGT Workman: "Remind me to give you your hard drive before lunch"
Me: "My what?"
SGT Workman: "Your hard drive."
Me: "Oh, I thought you said card job."
SGT Workman: (laughs) "What is that?"
Me: "I don't really have a cock, but if I did--"
SGT Workman: "It'd totally be out rocking."
"Uh, I am Moretz. I don't know what to do in the event of an emergency."
"I am Moretz, I don't know where I am or how I got here."
"You little fucking red-headed..." (walks off)
... more to follow.